Kim and her three children, Leo (aged 13), Sophie (aged 9), and Mason (aged 5) were referred to Welcare by their Local Authority following 18 months of domestic abuse from the children’s father to Kim. All three children had witnessed the abuse and the whole family needed support to overcome their challenges and build healthier and more positive relationships with one another.
Welcare was able to help the family in a number of ways, including Kim attending a Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities course, 1:1 support for Sophie and Mason in their school, all three children attending our Summer Project week, and tickets through Merlin’s Magic Wand for the whole family to go to Chessington World of Adventures.
Welcare successfully worked in partnership with other supporting organisations to help the family understand the impact of the abuse from the children’s father and create closer relationships. After we finished working with them Kim shared this wonderful poem she had written about her experience and all the different emotions she has felt. It is heartfelt, very well written and really gives the reader insight in to the impact of domestic violence.
Now I am free
It started with a slap which I let slide by,
to my face he told me lies.
He made me feel like I was the ugliest women alive
But it’s the emotional abuse that will stay with me for life.
Trapped, abused and love bombed for years I couldn’t escape,
the last straw was when I was head butted in my face,
hurt bruised and in pain was the day I walked away.
Unless you’ve been in my situation you will never understand, but here I stand strong, beautiful, independent not relying on a man.
I will never forget all the years of silent treatment,
but at least I have my three beautiful children now that’s my biggest achievement.
I am on a healing journey rebuilding my self-esteem to recover from PTSD.
No longer will my babies hear the screams of their mother,
I am grateful they no longer need to suffer.
Being trapped, manipulated, and feeling alone he made me hate my own home.
We had to flee and now we are free it took me years to understand this man was controlling me.
I am far from perfect who is?
No woman on earth deserves this.
This is a different pain I can not explain.
The psychological impacted this has done to my brain.
It’s caused me to ruminate and have flash backs when will this pain fade away?
I have learnt the way I was treated was not normal.
Isolated from family and friends so many functions I didn’t attend,
that’s because I had to pretend,
and come up with a lie,
If I didn’t leave, I could have died.
Over the months I have been empowered by strong women my mum, sister, friends, social and support workers.
Hand on heart thank you all for helping me pull through without you all I wouldn’t know what to do.
Now it’s time for the CP review I always wonder how my children must feel.
Hurt, confused, and not knowing what to do,
It must be horrible being stuck in-between us two.
They have me their mother someone to talk to.
To express their feelings and emotions,
Only if they knew that they are my rock and why I stand here so strong.
The truth is,
Inside I am weak, but I shall speak.
I am brave, strong, and blessed I will never let a man abuse and control me again.
I am grateful for my little family to my children mummy will always be here for you all.
Now it’s our time to flourish and thrive.
I will love you all till the day I die. xxx
*all names have been changed and stock images used